The first real kiss

The park was practically desert by the time Lisa Hayes walked across it. The streets around still showed the signs of the last Zentraedi attack, but somehow it seemed to her that Macross citizens were like the phoenix, always reborning from their own ashes. ‘But for how long?’ she asked to herself and stood in front of the central fountain looking at the water drops jumping almost happily. Since they had left the Earth the first time, she had known the lives of the soldiers were always in danger, but the civilians had been safe. Now, nor only the civilians had been attacked but one of her best friends had died, another was suffering and she had announced Captain Gloval that they had lost one of the members of the Vermilion squadron. The war she had so far seen like part of her job was now affecting her directly... and she wasn’t a phoenix. She started to walk again looking nowhere but at the floor, so she didn’t see another person coming to her until she crashed on him.

“Ops, I’m sorry,” she said stumbling and about to fall.

A strong hand took her arm and helped her to stay on her feet. “No, I didn’t see you, commander. I’m sorry.”

“Rick?” she asked surprised.

“What are you doing here alone this late, commander?” Rick asked her.

“I could ask you the same, lieutenant,” Lisa said. “You’re scheduled for the morning patrol.”

“I... I needed some time alone... to think,” he confessed burying his hands in his pockets.

“Me too...” Lisa said starting to walk. He joined her. “These weeks had been too hard. It makes you wonder...”

“Wonder what, commander?”

“We’re not at the base. Why don’t you call me Lisa when we are outside?”

“As long as you don’t call me lieutenant out of work too,” he grinned.

“Ok,” she said smiling. “Hum... Rick, if you’re not too tired, would you like to have a cup of coffee?”

“I’d be glad, Lisa! But this time I’m buying.”

The night was so calm that they decided not to stay at the café but to have the coffee to go and keep walking around the park.

“You were telling me, Lisa, that these weeks make you wonder...” Rick started their conversation again.

“Yes...” she said sipping at her cup. “Makes you wonder if what we do is the right thing to do...”

He looked away and remained silent for some minutes, just sipping distractedly at his beverage. “We’re doing the right thing, Lisa,” he finally stated.

The certainty in his voice made her turn to see him. “But how can you be so sure?”

Rick turned to see her too and met her green eyes. The deep anxiety he saw in them surprised him a little: he didn’t know but a very strong, very secure Lisa Hayes, a perfect officer that believed in and defended the army against everything. “I have to believe it, Lisa,” he told her placing his empty cup away. “Otherwise I’d lose my mind...”

“Rick!”

Rick closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Don’t you think I have enough reasons to question this war myself? I lost my best friend and one of my men in a matter of days... not to mention I almost died...”

“I know...” Her trembling voice shocked him and when he faced her, he saw a big tear rolling down her cheek. Lisa had put her cup away too and her arms were now crossed over her chest as if trying to protect herself, her head down to hide her tears.

Rick contemplated her for a long minute unable to believe this was the same woman he had called the ‘ice queen’. “Lisa?” he finally asked carefully tilting her head to force her to see him.

“I know I have enough reasons to question the army, Rick,” she murmured now crying unashamedly. “Roy, Ben... you. You almost die because of...”

“No, Lisa, no...” he said coming closer to her and cupping her face tenderly. “Don’t say it was your fault.”

Lisa felt a discharge of electricity when his warm hands touched her cheeks. “But it was!” she argued weakly.

“Pilots make mistakes, Lisa. We already know that when we get into the planes...” He was wiping her tears away with his thumbs, his heart full of a tenderness he had never considered coming from Lisa.

“I would have never forgiven myself if you... if you have...” she stuttered taking a deep breath.

Rick’s finger over her lips made her stop. “But I didn’t... I’m fine, I’m alive and I’m here... with you.” ‘God!’ Rick thought looking carefully at her, ‘she’s suffering... for me!’

“Many times I’ve thought about what I could have done different... if I could’ve done something for Roy and Ben and...!” she sobbed.

Rick couldn’t stand it more and pulled her to him hugging her fiercely. Her sobs were making her body tremble and the way she was clutching his jacket made him know she had been holding the pain long enough. He started to stroke her long hair soothingly, resting his head against hers. “You did your job perfectly well, Lisa, you’re the most capable officer they can have...”

“I would not stand it if one day you...” she murmured her head still buried in his chest, “...if I make...”

Rick startled Lisa pulling away quickly and cupping her face again. His baby-blue eyes shined with aching anger and something that resembled frustration. “Stop it, Lisa!” he shouted looking straight into her eyes. “Their deaths were not your fault! It’s a risk we all know! You didn’t kill them! You’ve saved more lives that you can count! You’ve saved my life many times!”

“Have I...?” she asked very surprised. Her brain was having a hard time to understand his reactions: he had never been so worried about her, this could not be the same Rick that have shouted at her many times...

“I wouldn’t be alive hadn’t you been there, Lisa...” he said sincerely, his fingers tracing the line of her face. Her trembling lips had transfixed him and had him thinking once and again about the times he had kissed her. He longed to do it again, to feel her abandoned to the response of her body and unaware of anything else... “I’m alive thanks to you...” His voice was now very low and his face was barely an inch away of hers.

Feeling his breath over her face, Lisa closed her eyes. Rick saw her and did the same, then slowly he leaned down and claimed her mouth. He kissed her long and slowly, barely touching her at the beginning but pressing harder little by little. Rick played with her lower lip, taking it between his and daring to nibble it lightly. He felt Lisa getting limp in his arms and one of his hands went lower to circle her waist and pull her closer to him. Automatically, Lisa held him tightly as if to dear life, his lips giving her back the meaning to her existence.

Lisa felt her heart beating wildly when they parted after good minutes lost in their kiss. “Rick...” she murmured still panting heavily.

“Never let me hear you’re doubting about yourself again, Lisa Hayes,” he replied stroking her cheek. “You’re the best... and I care about you... so much...”

Her breath caught in her throat at his words and she couldn’t reply. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, hoping her body could tell him all she wanted to say.

And he did understand. He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and pulled her to him in that dialogue of their bodies. There would be a lot of time to talk, to figure out where they moved from there... That night was nothing but the encounter of their souls, so he buried his face in her sweet smelling hair and closed his eyes and his mind to anything but the presence of Lisa in his arms.